Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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