It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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