This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
