in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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