In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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