I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
