For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The Olympian is in my bed
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
