I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
