This girl is more easily done than said...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
