So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
