I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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