k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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