I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
