omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
