My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
