Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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