I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
