Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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