awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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