i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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