I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
