i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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