After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
