i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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