u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i came on her dog
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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