If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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