She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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