Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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