his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
