Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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