The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
