Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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