you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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