I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is the prime rib incident all over again
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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