Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
