If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
