you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
