I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
