I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
