Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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