dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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