the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
