What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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