Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
