Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
