I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hippo gnu deer
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
