so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He better not be in your backpack
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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