is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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