I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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