They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
ok first of all what the fuck
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
